If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i came on her dog
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
third nipple confirmed
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
