where am i from again
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
