Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
