We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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