dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
