This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
