Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
