We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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