I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
