Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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