my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
