it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just forgot I was standing up.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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