I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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