there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
