i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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