i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
