Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
