Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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