No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
