my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
