we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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