just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
