So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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