you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
