We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
