I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
