I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
