dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
