I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
