i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
