Don't you send me to vm
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
