I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
