I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
