Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
