I'd wear matching sweaters with you
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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