You just made me feel so damn special
i just wanna soil my oats bro
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
