Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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