Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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