That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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