Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
