we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
