trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
