Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
