I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
