Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
