You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Drake has all the answers
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
