Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
