I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
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