Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
