Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
