Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
